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Lonely hearts ads in the local paper have been replaced by online profiles, where professional photographers are hired to do your pictures, and there are people who make a living out of telling you how to write the perfect pitch about yourself. Flirting is done over email, instant messaging or Skype calls. There are dating events for wine lovers and classical music fans, and events where everyone is Jewish, or Asian, or over Old-fashioned introduction agencies have been replaced by companies for particular members — those who earn above a certain amount, or are very good-looking, or live in the country — and have computer systems that promise to find you your soulmate after you have ticked a shopping list of desirable attributes.

It's important to get out and meet new people to build confidence and new social circles.

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It takes a long time to deal with the emotional devastation after the end of a marriage, says De la Pena, which makes it hard to want to meet new people. Dating when you're older means you immediately make judgments about whether you want this person to be your partner, and that seems forced and unnatural and different to how I did things when I was in my 20s. I have days when I think I'm going to have to live the rest of my days alone, but my feelings change from one day to the next.

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Stuart wanted to find a partner who was also divorced. He had been through two divorces — his first at 22 and his second at I really wanted someone with similar experiences. They have been together for four years. Shela, a retired teacher, is on her fourth — and happiest — marriage.

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After three turbulent marriages, she met her husband Bill through a lonely hearts advert in her local newspaper. He was about my age, and we'd had almost the same life experiences because he'd lost two partners. I decided to get in touch. He said he would visit me so I thought I'd better get myself dolled up and I put the best china out.

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I opened the door, and there was this tall man with a big smile across his face. The website allows women to choose how much money they'd like each month. Her "sugar daddy" bought her a BMW and she drives it with pride. With me and my gentleman friend, it was never like that," she said.

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Obviously a prostitute has to do it because she really doesn't have a choice. She has to sleep with all her clients.

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Wade says Charlotte is ranked number 19 on the list of top 20 cities to find a "sugar daddy. Laughrun says the state and federal government will not likely prosecute the operators and users of the site, because it's too costly and could be hard to prove. I mean what's the difference in that and some girl walking on Trade and Tryon in a pair of short shorts on a Friday night saying, "hey baby, pull over. I never had to ask him for anything.